Link's Nightmare(aka the Curse of Princess Ruto)
by wingweaver84
Summary: Link has a horrible nightmare after getting a little tummyache.


Place:Link's House,Kokiri Forest  
Time:12:30 SHT(Standard Hyrulian Time)  
It had been a hard day's night for Link as he returned home from kicking Ganondork's (no,no misspelling!)big,ugly butt.Parking Epona beside his house,he climbed the ladder and went inside.By this time he was dying with hunger,and stopped when he noticed his table topped with food,along with a note and the Hylian Times(25 rupees an issue).He looked at the note first.It read:  
  
" Link:noticed your refrigerator was empty,so I decided to make you your favorite meal to make up for a hard day's night.I made you Honey-roasted Goron,Kentucky-fried Cucco,Baked Deku, and your most favorite-Fried Zora,fresh from the sparkling waters of Lake Hylia!By the way,Darunia's looking for Little Link-have you seen him?  
Love,Saria  
P.S.There's something in the paper you should be concerned about.When will the wedding be,and should I give my blessings,or your eulogy?"  
  
Link was puzzled,but he picked up the paper.What he saw on the front page paralyzed him with fear.So that's why no-one was around when he returned!Not that hiding himself would do much.No matter where you went,you weren't safe.Not with IT around.Link's dinner caught up with him,and the stomachaches began.I KNEW I shouldn't have eaten so much,he thought.He almost made it to bed when he found himself swirling around in a tie-dye whirlpool with psychadelic music in the background.He soon found himself in the castle courtyard,where Zelda was peeking in the window like the same day he had met her.She saw him and turned around.With her arms outstretched,she ran to him and hugged him."Oh,Link,I've missed you!",she cried."Please kiss me."Now as we all (should)know,Link would do ANYTHING to kiss Zelda,so he gladly obliged.While they were kissing,Link noticed that the Princess was strangely cold and clammy,almost like a fish....  
  
Link opened his eyes and screamed in terror.He could handle any monster in Hyrule,no make that the planet,but not this.Anything but this.This..this blight on the planet turned the Gerudos into telemarketers(AAAAGGGGHHHH!).The Gorons became vegetarians,all because of a flood that belted them with their own food(their motto:It's a not so easily aquired taste).The Deku committed mass suicide because Deku Palace became a swimming pool.And the Zoras were so upset that they killed poor Jabu-Jabu.Not to mention all of the poor people in other parts of the world.Doors and windows were shut and locked.Shops were closed.People and animals,even the marathon runner,were barricaded.At the ranches,the barns were shut up tight.Be afraid.Be very afraid.For even the name struck fear in even Ganondork's heart.  
  
Ruto.  
  
Link tried to back away,but found himself unable to move.Ruto looked at him.Her head spun around in a 360 degree circle.Then she spoke the name of her only obsession."Link."All of a sudden,a swarm of Navis and Tatls buzzed around him like bees."HEYSTOPLOOKLISTENHELLOHEYSTOPLOOKLISTENHELLOHEYSTOPLOOKLISTENHELLO".Link saw Saria and ran to her."Saria,YOU'VE GOTTA HELP ME!",he shouted.Saria turned around...with Ruto's face."Why,of course,Link.How?"Link ran off.Maybe her father can help me,he thought as he rode off on Epona,who was looking very strange.While they travelled,she was getting smaller,and was growing fins?Before they got to Zora's River,Epona had turned into Ruto.Link jumped off.Okay,he thought,I'll RUN if I have to.He finally made his way to the King.Funny,did he ALWAYS look this thin,or was he losing weight?"AAAAAHHHH!""You CAN'T hide from me!You know that,don't you?"Link was getting desparate.He played the Song of Soaring on his ocarina and transported himself to Clock Town at midnight on the Final Day.The clock tower signalled the start of the Carnival of Time."Lovely,isn't it?"Link turned around.Everyone in Termina had turned into Ruto!The original grabbed Link,who by this time had completely lost his sanity."I've been planning our wedding,Linky-boy.I want you to meet our attendants."The Teletubbies,the entire Sesame Street cast,Mr Rogers,("It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood for a wedding.Please be my neighbor!)and every single annoying person on PBS!"Wanna know who's gonna marry us?"Just then,Link heard something that was nowhere near as scary as Ruto,but heart-wrenching enough."I love you!Will you be my friend?"That did it.Every single atom of sanity Link had was gone in an instant.  
  
"Link!Hello,Link?"Link was up in an instant."Geez!Don't scare me like that!I just wanted to tell you Ruto's back where she belongs.By the way,could you keep it down over here?The Gerudos heard your screams from their camp."  
  
Gerudo camp:  
"Wow!How high was that?"A Gerudo was stnding there."I don't know,great Nabooru,but it was so loud that the fortress collapsed!""Plan B?""Plan B."Nabooru picked up a phone."Hello,would you like to purchase a magazine subscription?"  
  
"Thank goodness you're here,Saria.I had this horrible dream.Before I tell you about it,I am going to hug you and kiss you."Saria let him,but not before being grateful for her long sleeves covering her fins.One day,you'll be mine,Linky-boy.One day....  
  
  



End file.
